What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
worst night to have a conscience
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
They took my balls.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
