Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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