did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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