Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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