so explain again why im purple
no
Sponge bath it is.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
