it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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