Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize