i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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