well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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