I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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