I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize