I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
