yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
