he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
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