ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The beer is more important than you right now.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
