So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
