Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
do nipples grow back?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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