can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
