I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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