Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
