Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize