tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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