1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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