apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
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