At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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