Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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