After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
