I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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