White coat. Heels.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
