is your mom at the bar?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
