She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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