So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
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We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
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IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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