She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
