Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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