When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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