I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He? As in you personified your dick?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
