So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
