North Korea, Best Korea!
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.