Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots