I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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