On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.