I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize