this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
