He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
