I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
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