Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
We just shotgunned beers for America
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
