We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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