If i come over, it means nothing
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
