Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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