You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
