I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
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