you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
