That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
