It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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