Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
