I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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