I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
