This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
