i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize