your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
