my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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