Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
