Texts From Last Night

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  (239): View more from Florida

  I wish I could drop acid with the muppets

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  (239): I wish I could drop acid with the muppets http://tfl.nu/kqkl
  Replies (33) Good night (4732) Bad night (670)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.

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  (303): Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper. http://tfl.nu/rq4b
  Replies (68) Good night (8946) Bad night (761)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?

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  (860): Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out? http://tfl.nu/i8pt
  Replies (5) Good night (806) Bad night (4061)
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  (560): View more from

  I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?

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  (560): I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time? http://tfl.nu/wzlt
  Replies (71) Good night (1205) Bad night (21565)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.

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  (612): Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes. http://tfl.nu/p3u3
  Replies (3) Good night (2635) Bad night (851)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.

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  (412): He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with. http://tfl.nu/33qn
  Replies (8) Good night (3134) Bad night (1080)
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  (310): View more from California

  Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"

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  (310): Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god" http://tfl.nu/2xo4
  Replies (10) Good night (4357) Bad night (843)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.

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  (724): Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard. http://tfl.nu/7cwy
  Replies (4) Good night (2030) Bad night (1232)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.

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  (917): No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out. http://tfl.nu/gccc
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (752)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.

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  (225): I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left. http://tfl.nu/d68g
  Replies (24) Good night (3513) Bad night (1430)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?

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  (613): On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it? http://tfl.nu/27yi
  Replies (5) Good night (1373) Bad night (685)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea

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  (920): He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea http://tfl.nu/pad4
  Replies (2) Good night (329) Bad night (628)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life

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  (608): Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life http://tfl.nu/ljpd
  Replies (15) Good night (666) Bad night (1124)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists

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  (902): We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club (902): The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists http://tfl.nu/vl5e
  Replies (5) Good night (1141) Bad night (326)
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  (914): View more from New York

  And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that

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  (914): And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that http://tfl.nu/fmcd
  Replies (2) Good night (297) Bad night (465)

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