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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  So do you want to come over? ;)

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.

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• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (315): View more from New York

  His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  ...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?

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• (432): View more from Texas

  This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

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• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great

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