Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.

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  (917): as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on. http://tfl.nu/1170
  Replies (7) Good night (1489) Bad night (717)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?

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  (902): is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with? http://tfl.nu/yzo8
  Replies (56) Good night (1139) Bad night (5922)
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  (310): View more from California

  A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.

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  (310): A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf. http://tfl.nu/8l3i
  Replies (2) Good night (1411) Bad night (856)
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  (925): View more from California

  At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way

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  (925): At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way http://tfl.nu/fo4u
  Replies (5) Good night (780) Bad night (1891)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.

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  (606): This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce. http://tfl.nu/gzhr
  Replies (7) Good night (798) Bad night (2052)
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  (585): View more from New York

  He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."

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  (585): He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry." http://tfl.nu/vnva
  Replies (25) Good night (1800) Bad night (596)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.

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  (316): Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend. (1-316): I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome. http://tfl.nu/5svt
  Replies (2) Good night (853) Bad night (1124)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.

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  (603): I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST. http://tfl.nu/xkvr
  Replies (22) Good night (2011) Bad night (541)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.

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  (702): Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/o3bo
  Replies (10) Good night (1063) Bad night (643)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome

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  (931): i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome http://tfl.nu/562n
  Replies (5) Good night (1694) Bad night (553)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.

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  (+44): This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner. http://tfl.nu/2gdm
  Replies (3) Good night (433) Bad night (904)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun

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  (630): All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun http://tfl.nu/y2l0
  Replies (6) Good night (2161) Bad night (555)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.

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  (716): I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications. http://tfl.nu/oxv6
  Replies (3) Good night (351) Bad night (530)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.

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  (904): Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard. http://tfl.nu/afya
  Replies (4) Good night (414) Bad night (533)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.

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  (979): The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB. http://tfl.nu/sezq
  Replies (1) Good night (950) Bad night (230)

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