Texts From Last Night

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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  I believe so, yes.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?

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  (479): I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing? (1-479): I believe so, yes. (479): Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you? http://tfl.nu/chrd
  Replies (46) Good night (2500) Bad night (949)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.

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  (205): Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies. http://tfl.nu/26xq
  Replies (16) Good night (2667) Bad night (764)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.

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  (954): I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs. http://tfl.nu/kpvs
  Replies (37) Good night (1921) Bad night (3728)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  fuck your aforementioned shoe

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  (760): fuck your aforementioned shoe http://tfl.nu/6ubu
  Replies (27) Good night (4629) Bad night (779)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life

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  (856): We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life http://tfl.nu/wuon
  Replies (12) Good night (3794) Bad night (644)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this

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  (304): enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this http://tfl.nu/89bx
  Replies (18) Good night (4047) Bad night (663)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now

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  (443): I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now http://tfl.nu/gk88
  Replies (8) Good night (4305) Bad night (744)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.

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  (217): i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood. http://tfl.nu/a0o1
  Replies (35) Good night (5334) Bad night (1859)
• Favorite

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue

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  (763): Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue http://tfl.nu/sfb5
  Replies (4) Good night (3642) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  and then he started using my ass as a stressball

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  (973): and then he started using my ass as a stressball http://tfl.nu/q5mx
  Replies (16) Good night (3667) Bad night (1513)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller

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  (907): We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller http://tfl.nu/mw3b
  Replies (6) Good night (1337) Bad night (2296)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.

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  (914): Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt. http://tfl.nu/ro8e
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (517)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.

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  (906): Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle. http://tfl.nu/e62g
  Replies (0) Good night (630) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.

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  (+44): The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking. http://tfl.nu/xzp9
  Replies (0) Good night (458) Bad night (233)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.

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  (519): I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list. http://tfl.nu/0spo
  Replies (3) Good night (633) Bad night (180)

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