she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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